Overrated And Boring

Kemas-kemas laci terjumpa,

surat Asma'  beri masa hari jadi yang ke-19 masa 1st year dulu. Panjang. 

kertas Hazim, Acap & i scribbled during immune lecture pasal Ahmad & dream wedding. Kelakar. 

resit lama Mawah conteng, ada dua orang lidi pegang tangan saying ' friends forever & i love you always' .........

note kecik Caca tinggal atas meja dulu sebelum pindah saying 'Caca sayang kak ida'. .........

Maybe it's a good thing i'm packing all my belongings without anybody else in the room.

Many have been asking for the definite reason for why i've chosen to leave this town.  

Most of the time i took time answering. Trying not to make my words sounded cold & flat. So they would remember me as a person who left because of nothing lesser than wanting to gain something greater at home. Careful not to hurt anybody by surprise, i did not specify.

To few i replied fast, with words that were far from kind & general. Witnessed only by those whom i know their perception of me would not budge once i finished, the confession went all wet.

If only i could let some feel my heart without me having to open my mouth, i would. If only i could do more to show that it wasn't an easy decision, i would. If only i could form a sentence that had the right words, i would. If only i had answers to my own questions, believe me i would.

I've always thought that i've become a stronger person than i was before. Now i just don't know anymore. I apologize to myself for not being one. I apologize to those who are dear to me for not being one. I apologize to my family for not being one. And i apologize to anyone who knows me for not being one.

I don't even know why i'm writing this entry truth be told. Maybe i want people to know that i don't belong here and i'll love to leave. I want to leave. If any have felt the same way & tried to stay anyway, i believe that person is simply somewhere he belongs. And when my questions of science and consideration of everything else could not speak as loud as my heart, that was when i knew that i had to make a decision.

And no, it wasn't courage. It wasn't courage that made me spoke of something i've been longing to my mother. It was something else, something i've had growing inside me for the past few years. To still pick up the phone knowing the words i was about to say were going to disappoint her, it wasn't easy. To know that i would hurt her. To dial her number with everybody's faces flashing at the back of my head like they mattered. To say, Mak, Ida nak balik... 

It's like begging to be taken back to the start.

Hello. Sorry for not updating earlier. I've been to too many places & was really tired. I'd thought of just uploading the photos but it was really rumit & the internet wasn't really being cooperative. So to name a few, i've been to:

-Big Ben

-London Eye

-Madame Tussauds

-Oxford Street

-Waterloo

-Greenwich

-Bicester Village

-Tower Bridge

-Buckingham Palace

-Liverpool Street

-Her Majesty Theatre

-Chelsea Stadium

-Arsenal Stadium

& other places that London has got to offer.

The most satisfying day was when Nora took me to watch The Phantom of The Opera Musical Theatre.

=)

I'm the type of person who layan musical theatre, plays, art museum, gallery yada yada..  you know what i mean lah.. so, watching Phantom was like bloody amazing to me, i was like macam " Best nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.." the whole day..  macam angau. Senyum sorang-sorang.

The most fun days were the ones i spent with an old friend, pian. He was in London with his friends, so we met up & got carried away with old Dj lives of ours, just reminiscing & talking bout everything actualy, so yeah a lil Dj reunion - Pian, Aziera & I - & it was sweet & fun. (P/s: Haz & Aza, we people talked bout everything =P. We miss everybody really.. )

=)

So four more days here, and i have to admit i think i'm ready to leave. Dah terfikir pasal study seriously. Penat sangat cuti. Saya nak belajar. Rindu. Rupanya cuti lama-lama ni tak best jugak ek? Now i know how my mom must have felt. [ My mom was in Jordan in May for a week for a holiday lah boleh katakan, but she claimed it was "bosan" & got nothing to do. Orang tengok tv, she went basuh my dapur lah, lipat kain lah.. ada jer benda nak buat. Cuti mestilah you rehat-rehat from work kan, go do stuff you can't do on weekends but nope, not her, she has to work. ] Oh mak, you're my idol. You're always right. Haha.

Ok enough.

Owh yeah, I'll try to upload pics in the album & here but if the images turn out macam pelik dan tidak best untuk di view, i'll upload them once i get back to jordan. Bcos ada technical problem with my laptop & the internet connection here so macam i also don't understand lah this IT thingy, so nantilah ya djians yang rindu akan pian dan aziera.. gambar mereka akan disiarkan tidak lama lagi =D

And lastly, Happy Birthday Kak Yatie =) You are a great mom & shall be greater like our mom the greatest. Lots of love, Ida =)

P/s: Owh, thank you to those yang mengunjungi this shack to know how i've been & what i've been up to. I'm alright. Saya sayang yang memberi komen & wishes kerana you are who you are di depan & belakang saya, so i've always known you are one of the dearest i have. I will keep in touch.

So take care you.

Ola.

I have a great story to tell. I made it to Spain but only to Madrid. Well actually a part of Granada & Madrid but i wouldn't count the Granada. So the story is, I thought i was up for the touring Spain all by foot kinda thingy but was i completely wrong? Yes indeed. My knee telah membuktikan bahawa beliau berkuasa ke atas diri saya. I mean i knew that a lot of walking would tire the left one very easily but i didn't expect it to hurt, so i thought i'd just gambled lah u know. But then the left one memberontak, the right pon tak tahan then i got no mood, then i bought pain killers to kill the pain which was Ibuprofeno then makan-makan my left eye jadi edema then my day went sucky, orang spain pun suka pandang-pandang macam tak pernah jumpa manusia berbilang kaum, & i got a restless sleep before & yadayadayada, sooo we all decided to just go back to london instead.

Kesian Aziera & this one girl that they had to go back but Aziera said she's living 2 hours from Spain, which proves that she can go to Spain anytime she wants. And for the other girl, i just kesian her. She wasn't really keen to go back, judging from her expressions, but what the heaven, u nak lutut i tercabut baru u nak balik ke har. Nevertheless i did screw up her 3 days of Spanish holidays which could have gone better for all of us if they had had a better plan, minus the sleeping on the bus, bringing all the stuff on your back 24 hours & others. Maybe if you had booked a cheap hotel just to put our stuff & freshen up ke then start jalan-jalan maybe it would have been more like a vacation rather than trying to become Ian Wright, but but i'm not whining, i'm just telling that if it was me, i would have had a better plan, that's all. But i don't think that girl is gonna be able to read what i whine here, not that i'm not outspoken enough to speak to her, it's just that she's a bit tua than me, i still need to respect her altho i don't agree with her.

Omg, what am i typing??? One whole paragraph of sucky Spain trip.

It's really not that sucky honestly, i got to go to the Madrid Stadium & see Raul posing on the wall =) And Spain has got many beautiful buildings with many unfriendly people. Yeah. The people there just don't care. All of them put on such faces telling " My god, work is so stressful " or " Urgh, i hate people " or " I wanna kill myself ". There wasn't one Spanish soul did smile to me. I felt so insulted. =\ But when i was sitting in front of the palace just meng urut-urut my lutut, suddenly a Chinese bagi salam, i answered & she asked me whether i was Malaysian plus all other questions. The 1st stranger whom i spoke to on the land of Spain was to another Malaysian. Funny kan? Then that lady introduced me to her other half who originated from London & when they got married, they settled in Malaysia. He asked " So, how do you find Spain so far? " I couldn't answer him, i wanted to say it wasn't as satisfying as i thought it would be but his face was like he was enjoying Spain so much so i just replied " Good good ". Then, he replied, " I don't find anything interesting here! Great buildings,yeah but the people are not the best in the world, we just want to go back to Malaysia asap".

Ah, well at least i know i'm not being judgemental & moody because of my knee kan? But anyway, i'm back in london. Gonna start touring London, Birmingham, Oxford & others. Yeay! I'm in love with uk! I should have studied here instead of Irbid =P Seriously.

London is crazy beautiful. I'm in love..

Hey yall. Sorry for the late update. Busy bee =D

I'm now at Manchester. Have been to Liverpool and it was great! I mean like AWESOME. Have been here in Manchester for two days & gonna be here for another two days & then i'm off to Spain for five days. Cool right?

So far i've been into zero trouble, not that i'm wishing for one. Though i have had hard time keeping my train/bus ticket right in my pocket. I've always been a girl who doesn't keep her things well or try finding them at the right places. Well.

Oh yeah! I've met my friends whom i've always wanted to meet! Aziera & Adlan. I may say i'm one happy girl because of that! Yeay! I can't be uploading any photos yet sorry. Too much work, maybe later. 

This is such a quicky, sorry. So i'll talk to ya when i'm at london hopefully. Taa!